wifeDear Bridget,
I am hysterical. My husband and I wanted to buy a house soon. When we visited one of the lenders that you recommended, she pulled our credit reports…. I found out that my husband had been married before. I had no idea. He never mentioned that marriage to me. I am crestfallen. I don’t know if i can ever trust him again. What do you advise? ______Hysterical

Dear Hysterical,
Buying a home can be a very invasive process, especially when you need to get a mortgage. Lenders seem to want to know everything about your background before they will approve you for a home loan. Sometimes that information can come as a surprise.

In addition to the lender’s questions, people who are buying a home with another person can find out things about the other person that never surfaced before the house hunt began.For example, you may find out that your co buyer has a less than perfect credit history, handles money in what you consider, an “irresponsible” way, doesn’t agree with your taste in houses or in neighborhoods, doesn’t see life unfolding as you do, disagrees on the size of house needed due to plans for a family, never envisioned your family moving in, or, as in your case, had a “secret” marriage. We cover many bases in our Home Buyer’s Questionnaire and that seems to keep surprises to a minimum.…/Home-Buyer-Questsionnair…
We suggest that you seek marriage counseling before you make any decisions about divorce or buying a house. It would be good if you were sure that the wife is the only thing that he forgot to mention. Could there be little ones as well?

Keep in touch and we hope that you work things out and come back to us when you are ready to buy a home…. with husband or ….

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